One of the most overwhelming tasks I found in being a business owner at first was deciding things – so many things. How to grow, who to talk to, which task to do first, how late to work, where to get lunch…by the end of the day I would easily be exhausted by decision fatigue. How could I continue to give so much of myself to this work?

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It was because I didn’t know what was real. I didn’t understand how to practice sacred selfishness.

There wasn’t a default compass I was connected to and decision making felt like something I had to DO, but in reality it is something you just BE.

At that time I was so far from who I truly was inside, these decision processes were hard and stressful. Many times that meant the results from those choices wouldn’t work well. I was making things hard. I wasn’t allowing myself to be selfish when it came to my own life, my own legacy.

I needed to find out what was real – and reality comes from truth.

I was lying to myself. A lot.

But I didn’t really know that, because I came from a very insecure place where I thought other people’s beliefs were more important than mine. I was wrong, very wrong.

Things changed when I started doing deep inner work. Sick of being in pain and frustration I at first hired a coach and then realized this was the tip of the iceberg. More work needed to be done.

I had crafted a life based on hiding from who I was, so my life didn’t feel like mine, and it didn’t feel real. It felt frustrating, draining, and depressing. The inner work and admitting where I was lying allowed me to start moving in the right direction. To fully correct my course, honestly it took years. Sometimes the work was grueling. I was so far off course that it physically hurt sometimes to change gears.

But I knew something didn’t feel right, and I had faith that there must be a better way.

I did not know how to feel happy, because I allowed everyone else whose desire was stronger than mine to take over. While I was stubborn and had drive, the drive initially was coming from discontent, which is why I would eventually stall out. I wasn’t able to have healthy sacred selfishness.

I had to learn how to let the bull shit that wasn’t truth inside me – so basically everything in my life – go. Spouse, home, friends, possessions, and path, I cut it all out so I could see me more clearly.

First, I dismantled limiting beliefs.

Second, with some strength and vulnerability, I learned how to listen to what I really wanted.

Third, and hardest, I acted out what felt true.

The whole time – I never stopped. I kept the momentum no matter who hated me, how little money I had, or how scared I felt.

From a place of truth decisions are just a part of the flow. It takes absolute courage to stay here, however, if you start from a place as darkly lit as I did. I was so conditioned to tolerate not believing myself that it felt awkward to try do so.

The many people who supported me on this journey have been everything. Many I hired and some were not. We do not need to do this work alone, we are not meant to. Living, creating, and flowing with others is a part of the rich feeling and freedom that satisfies our natural desires.

Eventually I would embrace the sacred selfishness of being me.

Embracing that place was when I could feel what reality is. Deciding became easy from here.

That feeling is so priceless, I hope you will believe I am telling the truth. If you are living in the darkness of doubt, I hope that I can coax you out if only just to get curious about what’s on the other side.

Here is what it looks like to be selfishly sacred to myself. These images I’ve gathered reflect me and my business. They reflect the desires I have to help others. First I had to help myself.

Are you ready for my help?

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Michelle Andersen

Author Michelle Andersen

Michelle Andersen teaches and coaches motivated Self growth afficionados how to align with beauty to transform their lives. She is a multi-venture entrepreneur who helps her clients connect who they are with where thet are. Her other trands can be found at http://michelleanderseninc.com

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